‘Tis the Season for Boundaries
‘Tis the season for holiday gatherings, festive décor, delicious foods, and more. It is supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year,” so let’s make it that way. The holidays can be a time of joy, but they also present “endless opportunities to overeat, overdrink, and overextend ourselves socially and financially.” A boundary is “a real or imagined line that marks the edge or limit of something.” Healthy boundaries are fences rather than walls. They let the good in and keep the bad out. The holidays can come with unique challenges, so learning ways to set healthy boundaries during this time is essential.
It is okay to say no: You may want to attend every social event, but the truth is, you can’t always do it all. Learning to say no can help alleviate stress. Saying yes may seem like a way to avoid conflict and keep the peace, but it can cause inner conflict, leading to stress, anger, and resentment. The holidays tend to be very busy, so prioritize what matters to you most.
Self-care: The holidays can bring up many emotions, so taking care of yourself through the hustle and bustle is important. Make sure you set personal time aside to do things that recharge you. Whether reading in peace, going for a bike ride, or engaging in a hobby you enjoy, you will thank yourself for it later.
Setting boundaries with yourself: Overindulging can make us feel regret later, so setting clear boundaries for yourself can be beneficial. It could be limiting the number of cookies you eat at the holiday party or setting a budget for your holiday spending. Having a clear outline of these boundaries and sticking to them can help you feel empowered. Enjoy the holiday treats! But set reasonable limits with yourself so you don’t feel bad about it later.
Setting boundaries with others: Having distinct boundaries in our relationships with others can cultivate healthier relationships. “Boundaries are the framework we set for ourselves on how we want to be treated by others and how we treat other people.” Finding your own core values and beliefs is a great place to start. Family members we haven’t seen in a while tend to ask uncomfortable questions, but you can respectfully decline to answer. And remember to be respectful of the boundaries of those around you. Healthy boundaries do not control others but rather shine a light on your own needs while acknowledging the needs of others as well.
Giving back to the community: Giving away your leftovers is a great way to avoid overindulgence. Consider donating extra food to a food bank or a homeless shelter. Finding ways to give back can provide a sense of purpose and meaning.
Setting boundaries is a gift to yourself and others. Boundaries are crucial for maintaining our mental health by balancing work and fun during the holiday season. Healthy boundaries allow you to preserve energy for more genuine and memorable holiday experiences. This includes our own personal boundaries and respecting the boundaries of others. Collectively, we can make this season “the most wonderful time of the year.”
References
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life
Cambridge Dictionary: Boundary
How to Avoid Extra Holiday Pounds
How to Prioritize Self-Care During the Holidays